Terms

All the legal stuff that we’re required to say:

  • You’re buying stuff from Andrew Linke, owner of Linke Media. Cecilee is his wife and gets all the money you spend on her products, but she doesn’t handle the business stuff so you probably won’t see her name on any of the payment processing.
  • You can reach our customer service (that’s Andrew) by sending an e-mail to sales (at) linkemedia (dot) com. Make sure that you type that with no spaces, no ) or (, and an @ sign.
  • When you buy from us, you acknowledge that it’s not our fault if your computer is destroyed, damaged, or transformed into a sentient killing machine by the files we sell you. If you do not agree to this, then DO NOT BUY FROM US. You might also want to hire John Conner to protect you, because Judgement Day is coming.
  • When you buy digital files from us, you own those files. We still assert our copyright to the story.
    • This basically means you can do whatever you want with the file, just as you could do whatever you want with a printed book, but you can’t make copies and sell them.
  • We do not offer refunds on digital products. That said…
    • All our digital products are DRM free.
    • If the download screws up, go to My Account / Downloads to access everything you’ve purchased.
  • We do not accept returns of physical products. That said…
    • If a book or CD is mangled by the mail carriers, send us an e-mail with a photo of the damaged product and the package it arrived in. If everything looks like a legit screwup by the postal service, we’ll send you a new copy (and cry with you about how sad it is that they only released one album).
  • Our privacy policy is as follows:
    • We will add your e-mail address to our mailing list after your first order.
      • Andrew, Cecilee, and Linke Media send out e-mails occasionally. As in, about once a month, but sometimes once a week when we’re really excited about something, although more likely once every six months when we get over our anxiety about bothering you with an e-mail.
    • You can unsubscribe from the mailing list at any time. There’s a link at the bottom of every e-mail.
    • We will never sell your e-mail address, phone number or anything else to somebody else. Yeah, we get those lame “refinance your mortgage and buy baby insurance” mailers too, and we think they suck as much as you do.
    • If leet haxorz break into our system and steal your e-mail address, we’ll send out an e-mail to warn you. That said…
      • We don’t keep (or even see) any payment info, so unless PayPal gets hacked you’re safe buying from us.
  • We ship everything First Class Mail within the United States and… well… the least expensive way if shipping overseas. Sorry, but shipping is expensive.
  • If you live outside the USA, you may have to pay import fees, taxes, duties, and fealties to the great and powerful Oz to receive your package. Sorry, but that’s international law for you.
  • Beware the black beast of Arrrggghhh.